Is it time to stop talking about “Mindfulness”?

“Mindfulness” is passé, at least as a noun. It has lost its shine and significance and now causes more trouble than it is worth. It likely isn’t even really a good English translation of the original word.

But I’d like us to keep using “mindfully” (the adverb) and “mindful” (the adjective).

As a noun, mindfulness solidifies into a thing that becomes a measuring stick against which to test oneself, or at least an item that one could reach out and grab. It stiffens something beautifully vital into a form that is antithetical to what it actually is trying to represent.

You see, mindfulness is not a thing exterior to our way of experiencing the world. Instead, it refers to an awakeness, a presence, an attitude of engaging with ourselves, others, and the world at large. Yet mindfulness focused on itself, as a thing to be sought, can be punitive, harsh, and (if you ask anyone trying to start a meditation practice) nigh impossible.

Here’s the thing: You can do anything mindfully and you can do anything mindlessly–pay bills, play with your child or listen to a family member, go for a walk, have sex, cook, clean, write, garden…

In my own life and with my clients, what I seek to cultivate is the practice, which is why I prefer to use “mindfully” as a quality of our attention or “mindful” as an adjective describing a moment.

How this looks in practice is that I don’t beat myself with the well-intentioned stick of “mindfulness” writ large and judgemental.

Instead, I ask myself

“how can I take this action more mindfully?” or

“what would it be like to engage this moment in a more mindful way?”

I find that setting aside a pursuit of “mindfulness” (n) helps me to consider how to draw that quality into this exact here-and-now instance, which in turn invites collaboration, creativity, flexibility, and fun.

Tired of neat-and-tidy or pat advice? Want to dig in to the real stuff and take steps toward a more authentic and joyful life? I currently have some openings for new clients, so reach out to have a chat and see if we’re a fit for a one-off coaching session or even something longer term.